Recently, I’ve been working on healing and releasing some really old stuff. It’s been confusing, mysterious, overwhelming, and honestly, even though I’ve been trying to work with it consciously, it’s been feeling pretty stuck.

Or at least, it was feeling pretty stuck; I was trying to work with it using all of my tools, and the more stuck it seemed, the harder I worked, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. It seemed like the pattern, the energy, the emotions were just too confusing, too mysterious, too uncomfortable, too painful, and too old to shift. 

Then, in the middle of my struggle, I asked The Universe for help. Soon after, I felt a wave of relief come over me as I remembered, for like the billionth time in my life, that I don’t actually heal myself. Or anyone else. 

I can’t heal squat. It’s not one of my abilities.

The forces that restore me to wholeness, that help me to see clearly, that relax me back into my center – those forces that heal me – are much bigger and wiser than my ego. Any and all healing that I receive comes from a much bigger place, and it comes in it’s own time and in it’s own way.

Once I remembered that I don’t actually have the ability to heal myself, I started feeling a lot better. Phew!

If we don’t heal ourselves, if healing is something that just happens, then I guess I can go sit on the couch and eat my organic, locally sourced, small-batch potato chips now! 

Hooray!

Okay. I’m kidding. I do love potatoes chips, but of course there is more to it than that:

These larger forces that heal us – God, or The Universe or Our Higher Selves or whatever you want to call them, give us an opportunity to participate in our healing process. So we could go sit on the couch, or we could decide to participate, and if we do we can end up creating some pretty amazing stuff.

Our participation on our own healing is really all about intention. Intention is such a new age buzzword these days, sometimes I even roll my eyes at myself when I use it, but never the less it’s a really important concept in healing. 

Intention, if you think about it, is really just a consolidation of energy. Particularly, the energy of desire. When I intend something, I am desiring it. 

In many of the old spiritual traditions, desire is considered sacred, because it’s the spark of all creation. Think about it; if I really want something, I’m a lot more likely to go try and create it. But if I don’t want it, or if I’m not sure I want it, then, well…

We enter into a co-creative process with The Universe by consolidating the energy of our desire. In this case, we bring a desire to heal. We bring an intention. 

Of course, even though healing is what I am intending to do, I don’t actually “do” anything.

When I have a cut on my finger, I might put on a bandaid, but that’s about it. There is some kind of wisdom that moves through me and actually heals the cut. I don’t sit there, stare at my finger intensely and say, “heal, cut!”. I just put the bandaid on and go about my day, knowing that it will heal in good time.

This wisdom that heals me is not something I have to earn, or figure out, or make happen. 

You could call it Grace.

I was in a healing session with one of my mentors recently, and after some old energy had cleared we were both looking at the energy that was still present, and I kept noticing something out of the corner of my (third) eye, but I couldn’t quite make it out. It kept coming and going; I could barely get a glimpse. I asked my mentor to help me read it.

She could see it clearly, and informed me that it was an energy that was showing up to help me. She described it in detail, and as she did I was able to see it more easily for myself. Once I could see it, I was able to relax and let it in. As I did, I experienced amazing clarity and relief. 

My only job was to relax and let it in. Of course, that was pretty hard to do until I could see it.

Th ancient traditions say that we are constantly being offered Grace. They say that it’s all around us, all of the time. They say that we are all, in fact, swimming in a sea of this medicine. We are all in an ocean of unconditional love.

Our challenge, then, is not to make healing happen, but rather to open ourselves to what is already present.

This is not always easy, however. In my session with my mentor, I could BARELY see the healing energy that was available to me in that moment.

This is certainly where it was handy for me to have another set of eyes on the situation. The people we call healers, as well as our friends and family, can often help us to see the Grace that surrounds us.

Seeing Grace is also something that we can practice, and get better at with time.

We can practice remembering that Grace is always there. When we are feeling disconnected from it, we can practice feeling how our grief and pain and loss are actually expressions of love (albeit, not the fun ones). We can practice noticing how the situations and challenges that we face teach us exactly what we need to know and provide us with opportunities to love more deeply.

I hope that I don’t sound too PollyAnna here. I’n not promoting a kind of thinking that just whitewashes our experiences and says “oh, well, we’re always being offered Grace, so it’s all okay!” No way. Life is hard and we feel pain that is very real. This is not about eschewing our pain, but rather about understanding it in a larger context.

This isn’t easy because pain naturally makes us want to contract, and to close down. And it’s okay to contract. Even our contractions can be form of grace.

We just need to practice looking for grace. Catching a glimpse. Or even just holding the intention to be able to see it. Once we can see it it becomes a little easier to let it in. 

Sometimes.

Sometimes, it can be hard to receive the Grace that is present, even when we can see it. Especially when we are in pain, or in the state of contraction that comes from pain. Like the ground that can’t receive the rain because it’s just too dry, sometimes we are just too contracted to receive the healing that is being offered to us. And like I said, that’s really okay. It’s not a good idea to try and pry ourselves open with crowbars. 

Rather, we come back around to this idea of intention. We can intend to open to Grace. We can hold the possibility that we could. We can trust that it will happen when it’s time, and we can breathe and soften into the moment. Then, little by little, like a flower opening to the sun, we can unfold.

So as I continue to work with these old patterns, this is what I’m practicing: remembering that I am always being offered Grace, trying to see it in my life where I can, and opening myself to it.

To open is to soften. To allow. To take a leap of faith. To remember that The Universe is always offering me healing. To allow life to love me. 

Most of the time, the Grace that’s being offered isn’t what I wanted or what I planned; I wanted some big dramatic revelation and instead I get little insights. I wanted the uncomfortable feeling to go away, but instead it goes away and then comes back again in a different form and then goes away again. Sometimes the healing that’s being offered is something obvious, like when my herbalist tells me to try taking some Oregon Grape Root, but sometimes it’s less obvious, like when my partner asks me to dance with him in the living room in our pajamas after dinner. (I almost said no. Which would have been fine, but I’m glad I was able to open myself to that one, because it ended up being very healing).

The sufi poet Hafiz says “You have so many gifts, still unopened from your birthday.” I love that line. Healing really is about opening ourselves. Opening to grace. Opening to love. Opening our gifts.

 

So Many Gifts

There are so many gifts
Still unopened from your birthday,
there are so many hand-crafted presents
that have been sent to you by God.

The Beloved does not mind repeating,
“Everything I have is also yours.”

Please forgive Hafiz and the Friend
if we break into a sweet laughter
when your heart complains of being thirsty
when ages ago
every cell in your soul
capsized forever
into this infinite golden sea.

Indeed,
a lover’s pain is like holding one’s breath
too long
in the middle of a vital performance,
in the middle of one of Creation’s favourite
songs.

Indeed, a lover’s pain is this sleeping,
this sleeping,
when God just rolled over and gave you
such a big good-morning kiss!

There are so many gifts, my dear,
still unopened from your birthday.

O, there are so many hand-crafted presents
that have been sent to your life
from God.

                                                                              — Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Herbal Healing + Magic

Wild-crafted medicines and magical potions made just for you.

I make suggestions about what kind of magic and herbs you might need based on the psychic information that comes through during our session(s). We work from there to create your personalized herbal healing and magic package, taking your budget and lifestyle into account. Your package will include some or all of the following:

  • Herbal Teas
  • Herbal Tinctures
  • Incense and other ritual magic
  • Flower Essences
  • Body Oils
  • Bath Salts and other bath magic

When I make your package for you I:

  • Work closely with your most compassionate spiritual guides and allies as well as the helping spirits of nature.
  • Use different forms of magic to help potentize the medicines, including sound and light.
  • Spend time meditation on and praying for your healing.

Good to know: 

  • Each ingredient is ethically sourced and wildcrafted (usually by me!) whenever possible.
  • Every item in your package is made with the utmost care and intention, and no chemicals or harsh ingredients are ever used.
  • All dietary restrictions, allergies and other special needs will be accommodated.
  • It usually takes me 1-2 weeks to finish your package and ship it to you (or you can come pick it up)

Cost: 15 dollars and up, depending on what’s needed, how big of a package you want and what your budget is.

Rates

Mother Earth Yoga Therapy (2 Hour Session):

1 session: 165

5 session package: 635 (127 each)

 

Basic Yoga Therapy (75 Minute Session):

1 session: 115

5 session package: 495 (99 each)

 

Psychic Reading (60 Minutes):

1 reading: 125

5 reading package: 495 (99 each)

 

Plant Spirit Healing (45-60 Minutes):

1 session: 125

5 session package: 495 (99 each)

 

Ayurvedic Educational Consultation (60 Minutes):

1 Consultation: 95

3 Consultation Package: 270 (90 each)

 

Private Yoga Lesson (60 minutes):

1 Lesson: 75

3 Lesson package: 210 (70 each)

 

 

* Cash, check and credit/debit are all acceptable forms of payment.

** I have a sliding scale available for those in need. Contact me for specifics.

*** Please note that these rates are for adults. If you are interested in rates for my work with teenagers and children, please contact me.

 

YOGA SOUND BATH

At Yogasmith Studio in Georgetown

Wednesday, Nov. 5th, 2014

7:15-8:45 pm

Join yoga therapist Megan Carroll and sound healer Daniella White as they combine the profound powers of two complimentary modalities that clear, unwind and heal the energetic architecture of the entire body/mind complex.

To facilitate this experience of energetic healing, Megan will lead you through an all-levels yoga practice accompanied by Daniella’s crystal bowl playing. At the end of your yoga practice, you will enjoy an extended “sound bath savasana” as Daniella bathes you in vibrations that will help you reach deep states of release and relaxation.

This workshop will assist you in letting go of energies, mental states and patterns that are no longer serving you, and clarify your alignment with the basic energetic forces of the Universe.

The focus for this workshop is harmonizing with and being healed by the energy of the moon. The energy of the moon is quiet, feminine and deeply rejuvenating.

YOGA SOUND BATH

If you 'just want the facts' feel free to skip this article and scroll on down...
Oh, the body. Such a blessing and a curse.
In yoga and related fields they say that the body is the greatest teacher. Or is it that injury is the greatest teacher? Oh well. Either way, I think the message is the same; our embodied experience has a lot to teach us.
When we experience the limitations of the body, there is sometimes a part of us that is kind of bewildered. Many of you know that I recently broke several bones in my right foot. Even though it has been 5 weeks since the accident and I have done lots of work with acceptance and being present, there is still a part of me that is surprised (and disappointed) every morning when I wake up to find that my foot is, indeed, still broken. It’s like there is a part of me that just can’t believe it.
We all have this part of ourselves. Maybe you felt that disbelief yourself when a loved one passed away, or when you got a scary diagnosis at the doctor’s office. Or when you looked in the mirror and saw gray hair for the first time.
This disbelief happens because there is part of us that is actually infinite; a part of us that does not age, die, get injured or sick. Call it consciousness, call it the soul, call it the spirit, call it what you like, it is in all of us, and in yoga philosophy it is considered to be the One True Self. We sense this infinite part of ourselves, and it sometimes doesn’t feel like it “matches” with our experience of the limited, physical body. Hence the bewilderment and disbelief.
But the finite nature of the body actually teaches our infinite selves about limitation; it is often through the experience of being limited in some way that we are able to touch that part of ourselves that is unlimited.
It also teaches us about surrender; when the body’s finitude is demonstrated, we find ourselves in circumstances that force us to surrender to something bigger than our egos. That surrender requires us to learn a deep trust in our infinite nature, and in the Universe itself.
The finite nature of the body is something that we all share. No one is immune. Over the course of my injury I have heard countless stories from other people about the time that they broke a bone or two, or ten. Within these shared stories I have found a wellspring of compassion and understanding, as well as the profound joy that comes from knowing that I am not alone.
Speaking of not being alone, one of the most transformative lessons that this injury has taught me has been on the importance and power of community. I am stunned by and deeply grateful for the outpouring of support that I have received from my friends, loved ones, colleagues and students. I am so touched, and I don’t know what I would do without it.
Many of you already know that yoga teachers are not in it for the money, and many yoga teachers do not receive benefits like sick days or health insurance. This, along with the fact that the job requires a lot of physical mobility, makes being an injured yoga teacher especially challenging.
To that end, my dear colleagues and friends Yogasmith owner Joel Benjamin, and Sound Healer Daniella White have offered to donate 100% of the profits from this upcoming to workshop to me, to help cover my medical bills and other costs associated with this injury.
Daniella’s work as a healer and Joel’s sacred space are a lovely combination; I am thrilled to be able to offer you a fabulous experience in exchange for your donation. Read the article below for the details, and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

A big THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to Joel and Daniella and all of my beautiful friends and students for your love and support during this time of learning and healing.

Yoga Sound Bath Fundraiser

Wednesday, October 1st
7:15 – 8:45 pm 

 

Join yoga therapist Megan Carroll and sound healer Daniella White as they combine the profound powers of two complimentary modalities that clear, unwind and heal the energetic architecture of the entire body/mind complex.

To facilitate this experience of energetic healing, Megan will lead you through an all-levels yoga practice accompanied by Daniella’s crystal bowl playing. At the end of your yoga practice, you will enjoy an extended “sound bath savasana” as Daniella bathes you in vibrations that will help you reach deep states of release and relaxation.

This workshop will assist you in letting go of energies, mental states and patterns that are no longer serving you, and clarify your alignment with the basic energetic forces of the Universe.

100% of the profits from this workshop will go towards assisting Megan with the costs associated with the multiple fractures in her right foot! 

Suggested Donation: 30 dollars preregistered / 35 day of

If this amount feels prohibitive to you, you are welcome to come and pay what you can!!!

To preregister, email joelb@yogasmithseattle.com and let him know you plan on coming! 
 

Daniella White
is a Reiki Master and certified Sound Healer. She believes that through the application of sound and positive intent, we can bring balance to the mind and body. Frequency can be utilized to shift matter and consciousness, and positive vibration can be healing medicine for the body and spirit. To learn more about
Daniella, visit

soundsynergy.net

 
 
Megan Carroll
has been working in the field of yoga for over a decade. Her work as a yoga instructor, yoga therapist and yoga teacher trainer reflects a deep connection to Spirit as well as a comprehensive understanding of the human body/mind complex.
To learn more about Megan, click here.